Lets Talk Self-Esteem

  • Did you know that low self-esteem affects your productivity?
  • Are you aware that people who lack high self-esteem do not consider themselves worthy of great results?
  • Have you noticed people with low self-esteem and observe how they talk themselves down and dumb down their achievements?
  • Did you know that long-term effects of low self-esteem leads to depression?

Is low self esteem affecting your confidence to be even more of your radiant and magnificent self?

Psychologists have shown that the overriding factor for success in your life is self-esteem. Self-esteem is the value you place on yourself. When you have high self-esteem you place a high value on yourself. With of the significant change you make as a person with high self-esteem is that you take responsibility. When you take responsibility you notice your achievements, you begin to focus on accomplishing things and in accomplishing things you gain even higher self-esteem.

Self-esteem comes from accomplishment rather than praise. Self-esteem is the nature of you experiencing you as being competent to cope with the basic challenges of life and of being worthy of happiness. Your self-esteem is confidence in the efficacy of your mind, in your ability to think. It is confidence in your ability to learn, make appropriate choices and decisions, and respond effectively to change. It is also the acceptance it is your birthright to have success, achievement, fulfilment and happiness.  It is really important that you focus your eyes, your ears and your thoughts on what you do well and when  you overcome challenges you create space to celebrate.

A healthy self-esteem gives you permission to believe that you can better yourself and become your passport allowing you to journey as far as you dare towards your destiny worthy of your own aspiration, it embraces where you want go rather than from where you are coming.

As you focus on your achievements and accomplishments with gratitude, you build more self-esteem and as you build more self-esteem you start to take more responsibility and you start to have more accomplishments.

There is a critical difference between having to prove yourself – wanting to be your best to make up for low self-esteem and seeking inner worth and value – being your best for the pure exhilaration of excellence in being your best.

All positive motivation is rooted in self-esteem. The development of which, just as with other skills, takes practice; and that practice, as with other forms of practice, must be carefully structured. In reviewing a part of the map of your self-esteem – Ask yourself the following:

  • Do you respect the person that you see? Is it someone you really want to be?
  • Are you doing what you want to do personally and professionally?
  • Are you going where you want to go?
  • Are you in charge of your life?

Here follows seven practices to strengthen you self-esteem:

The practice of living consciously: Being aware of your feelings and moods becoming even more aware of your triggers and your vulnerabilities as well as being present to what you are doing while are doing it; seeking and being eagerly open to any information, knowledge, or feedback that bears on your interests, values, goals, and projects; seeking to understand not only the world external to yourself but also your inner world, so that you do not out of self-blindness. Paying attention to information and feedback about your needs and goals, allow yourself to face facts that might be uncomfortable or threatening and refusing to wander through life in a self-induced mental fog.

The practice of self-acceptance: Honouring your uniqueness and knowing what makes you feel good along with the willingness to own, experience, and take responsibility for our thoughts, feelings, and actions, without evasion, denial, or disowning – and also without self-repudiation; giving yourself permission to think your own thoughts, experience your emotions, and look at your actions without necessarily liking, endorsing, or condoning them; the virtue of realism applied to the self. Being willing to experience whatever you truly think, feel or do, even if you don’t always like it. Allow yourself to face your mistakes and learn from them.

The Practice of Experiencing Your Emotions: An emotion is energy in movement; accept that emotions are natural and will pass. Practice interacting with your emotions, the emotion may be painful, yet if you experience the emotion fully – in the moment as children do – you allow the emotion to pass without attaching a story to the emotion – in that way you allow the emotion to pass and it can pass in a matter of moments. By not creating and attaching a story to the emotion you encourage your emotion to leave you free to fully feel them and to thoughtfully expressing them. Enabling yourself to become unattached to your emotional reactions and the stories that may arise, you allow the emotions to pass and as a result you return yourself to your default state of authenticity and happiness. Your emotions act as a bridge to spiritual enfoldment, allowing hormones to be released in the body for your self-healing. In therapeutic sessions you may further explore emotions in regard to the activating event, the beliefs you hold about the emotions, the consequences, your ability to debate – dispute or discard the emotion and come to terms with your rational choice.

The practice of self-responsibility: realising that you are the author of your choices and actions; that you are responsible for your life and well-being and for the attainment of your goals; that if you need the cooperation of other people to achieve your goals, you must offer values in exchange; and that question is not “Who’s to blame?” but always “What needs to be done? Establishing a sense of control over you life by realising that you are responsible for your choices and actions at every level, the achievement of your goals, your happiness, and your values.

The practice of self-assertiveness: being authentic in your dealings with others; treating your values and persons with decent respect in social contexts; refusing to fake the reality of who you are or what you esteem in order to avoid disapproval; the willingness to stand up for yourself and your ideas in appropriate ways in appropriate contexts. Become aware of your willingness to express appropriately our thoughts, values and feelings to stand up for yourself and to speak and act from your deepest convictions.

The practice of living purposefully: identifying your short-term and long-term goals or purposes and the actions needed to attain them (formulating an action-plan); organising behaviour in the service of those goals; monitoring action to be sure you stay on track; and paying attention to outcome so as to recognise if and when you need to go back to the drawing-board. Being self-disciplined in setting your goals and working to achieve them, rather than living at the mercy of chance and outside forces.

Dress and look your best at all times, regardless of the pressure from your friends and peers. Personal grooming and appears provides and instantaneous external projection of how you feel about yourself on the inside.

Improve your body language. Stand erect, yet relaxed, walk purposefully yet without arrogance, you saw and face relaxed, your eyes bright and with a smile. Cultivate clear pronunciation with a clear voice in confidence and in intensity. Always extend your hands and give your own name first in any personal encounter and give your name first in telephone conversations. Smile with your eyes, your face and your body language.

Focus on your strengths and talents, keep a record of your personal milestones and achievements.

Start and end your day on a positive note.

The practice of personal integrity: living with congruence between what you know, what you profess, and what you do; telling the truth, honouring your commitments, exemplifying in action the values you profess to admire. The integration of your behaviour with your ideals, convictions, standards and beliefs thus acting in congruence with what you believe is right.

Could you build your self-esteem even more?

Would you take the next step to build your self-esteem?

Dr Neslyn is able to give you the necessary support to build your self-esteem even more, strengthen your personal effectiveness, emotional intelligence, influence and visibility.



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