I am here for a purpose and that purpose is to grow into a mountain, not to shrink to a grain of sand. Henceforth, I will apply all my efforts to become the highest mountain of all and I will strain my potential until it cries for mercy.
- Og Mandino
Within my coaching practice I have had the privilege of working with high flying executives who have had what could be described as a successful career, yet deep within is the nagging question, Is there more? What is my life purpose here on this planet?
I believe that you are here for a purpose; you are not created at random. You are created for a definite purpose in life, and so is every other person in the world; this is the natural order of things. Each and every one of us has an equally important purpose.
I have learned that the secret to finding your purpose, is to realise that it is about being of service: your purpose is about giving, rather than receiving. What is interesting is that when you live the purpose for which you were created, the creator gives to you your highest and best good. That is, when you give the gifts that only you can give, you receive your deepest heart’s desire. In this sense, when you are truly living your purpose, giving and receiving become one. When you are working in alignment with your purpose all aspect of your life is healed, you feel happier, healthier and even your finances improve.
In contrast when you are not working in alignment with your purpose, there is a chronic nagging anxiety because you unconsciously know that you are missing the mark. This can lead to unhealthy behaviours.
So why might we not clear about our purpose?
Simply, the way we were brought up does have an effect. If we were encouraged to live our joy, then we tend to me more in alignment with our purpose and that which is meaningful for us. If we were heavily steered into particular direction to satisfy our family needs and our communities expectations we may never be fully aligned with our purpose. Purpose tells us why life is worth living, purpose helps us to define our values.
(Nemko, Edwards, & Edwards, 1998)in their study reveals that more than 46% of men and 40% of women say they are still trying to figure out the meaning and purpose of their life. Daybre (1999) notes that for most people, the number one problem is trying to figure out what they really want to do with their lives. “From the time we are born, we are on a search to discover our life purpose. Most people never do find it. Yet there is a void, an emptiness until we discover our purpose in life.”
I believe that your creator has hard wired your life’s purpose within you, and this purpose is unique to you and it enables you to help others and for you to feel emotional rewards.
That said, I believe that ultimately, achievement and fulfilment have very little to do with your education or skill level per se. Rather, it is about exploring who you are here to be and pursuing the kind of work that this leads you to do. That is how I define purpose, and I will expand upon this idea in the pages to come. For now I would like to share my story with you, as it illustrates clearly the power of knowing your purpose in life. As you’ll see, it can quite literally be a matter of life or death!
“I have learnt that my dreams will keep calling me, and the question ‘Why am I here?” will not be satisfied unless I stay aligned and engaged with my purpose and my personal destiny.” – Neslyn
My own journey to a life of purpose and passion has continued to surprise me. Decades ago when I was first beginning my career, I never could have imagined myself doing the work I do now, much less predicted it! My life’s work evolved over time from providing health care as a nurse to providing mental, emotional and spiritual care as a coach helping others live their dreams and achieve success as they define it. For me there is no greater joy than empowering others to uncover their purpose and live their lives in congruence with it.
I am passionate about what I do, and by the time I reached age 63 in 2012, I had already achieved a lot and felt I was living a purposeful life in many ways. As I considered whether I might now be ready for retirement however, I thought about the legacy I wanted to leave and knew there was still much for me to do. I went about donating all the money I had to members of my community in London, in an effort to give the black community here more opportunities to achieve their dreams and expand their potential.
That felt good, yet as I worked in my garden afterwards a voice within my heart said, ‘your greatest work is yet to be done, and you need to write.’ Of course my students have always asked me when I would write books on what I teach, and I have already published several. Yet I could not ignore this inner voice that urged me to write even more, to further explore and share the life lessons I have gained in my many years spent serving others and exploring these topics for myself.
A Matter of Life or Death
“I knew that was really the only purpose of life: to be our self, live our truth, and be the love that we are.” – Anita Moorjani in Dying to Be Me: My Journey from Cancer, to Near Death, to True Healing
Let me get right to the point: I cannot emphasize enough how important it is to always, always listen to this voice that guides you from within. It may very well be a matter of life and death, as the following story from my own life illustrates in a powerful way.
December of 2013 found me on an operating table in St. George’s Hospital with a surgeon about to perform an operation for which I had already signed the consent form. Medical students had gathered to observe, and the anaesthetist was preparing to anesthetize me. It was a terrifying moment: changes had been discovered in a large polyp within my bowel that was now feared to be cancerous, and the operation I was about to undergo was risky. As a nurse, I was perhaps even more aware of the risk I was about to face than another person might be. At the very least, a section of my colon might have to be removed, leaving me with a colostomy bag for life.
As the anaesthetist took my arm to put me under however, a surprising calm befell me and I heard my voice call out to the surgeon: “Doctor, I don’t want you to do the planned operation. I want you to do it by colonoscopy instead.’ Aghast, the doctor replied with, “Neslyn, it can’t be done. Your bowel will rupture, it’s too high up.” I knew very well that a ruptured bowel could be deadly, yet again I heard myself say with a calm not of this world: “Doctor I have prayed, your hands will be guided and my body is prepared. I will sign another consent form accepting the risk, please go ahead.” So I signed the form just moments before surgery began, and the doctor performed it by colonoscopy in accordance with my request.
The fact that I am here to write this is proof that the operation was successful, and as a result I did not need to have a colostomy. What’s more, the post-operative tissue analysis showed me to be free of cancer. It was the best possible outcome in a situation that could very well have turned life-threatening, and I believe that in that decisive moment, it was my purpose that kept me alive. The highest part of me that knows my reason for being on Earth simply knew that my time was not yet up, and that the riskier operation would therefore be successful.
Re-connecting With That Still, Small Voice
And after the earthquake a fire; but the LORD was not in the fire: and after the fire a still small voice. – I Kings 19:12, King James Bible
I love this verse from the Bible, because it shows so clearly how even raw elemental forces like earthquakes and fires cannot match the power of the voice of truth within you. This was the voice that spoke through me on the operating table, and it is the voice that will lead you to your purpose. Most of us lose touch with this voice over time, yet much depends on recovering our ability to hear it. It may even be said that everything depends on it! Allow me to explain.
I believe that we are all born with a powerful inner guidance system, but too many of us are taught to ignore it early in life. The problem is that each time we dismiss this voice its volume gets lower and lower, until we cannot hear it at all. This is a great tragedy, for this still, small voice is none other than the voice of your inner truth. The tendency to ignore this voice is the reason why so many of us arrive at a certain point in life and find that our lives do not look at all like we expected them to. If you choose to believe what society tells you about what will make you happy rather than following what is true for you, you will be confused when you achieve those things and find that happiness still eludes you. Yet the answers have been within you all along – so how can you recover your ability to hear them?
From infancy we are taught to value logic and the mind above all else, and we learn to ignore our inner guidance system because very often, its messages are not logical. Think about it: have you ever received an inner message that you either ignored or listened to, and noted the consequences later? Almost everyone I have worked with has been able to recall at least one instance where this has happened to them, either for good or bad, and I believe there are many more that we forget entirely
For example, did you ever get a strong nudge to not go out, but did so anyway and had a mishap of some kind? Conversely, did you ever listen to a nudge that told you to do something illogical, with miraculous results? You have likely heard stories of people who woke up the day of a long-planned vacation knowing that they shouldn’t board the plane, which later crashed killing all aboard. There are many such stories about miraculous escape from disasters, synchronous meeting of one’s true love, dream homes or job offers that come seemingly out of the blue, etc.
These are dramatic examples, and not everyone is destined to have such extreme experiences of their inner guidance system. However, I do believe that we all have access to this inner power, and that connecting with it is more than anything a matter of practice. My experience with my surgery suggests that listening to the voice of your inner truth may indeed be a matter of life or death in many instances, so why take a chance? The time to reconnect with that voice is now, and it all begins with the intention to do so.
Here are some practices that can help you recover your ability to hear the still, small voice of your higher self, which is the voice that will lead you to your purpose:
- First, make a point of intending each morning to hear this guidance and act on it. This enhances your ability to notice those subtle hints from the universe, which then allows you to act upon them.
- At the end of each day, record in a journal the messages you received, and what happened as a result of your choice to act on them (or not). Doing this builds evidence for your mind that the still, small voice carries important information that should not be ignored. Be persistent with this practice, as it takes time to undo years of conditioning that have taught you to dismiss this inner voice. The process of learning to trust yourself cannot be rushed, but I assure you the results are well worth it.
- Take a moment at intervals (e.g. weekly or monthly) to look back through your journal and acknowledge all the times that you have indeed listened. It is important not to skip this step, as it helps build the motivation you need to pursue further growth.
Your Intention And Attention Create Your Life
Intention and attention without tension creates fun. – Neslyn Watson Druée
You may have heard it said that your intention and your attention create your life. I have certainly found this to be true, but I also find that many people take it too seriously. That is why I have coined my own version of this wisdom above, because what is the point of finding your purpose and passion if you don’t have fun along the way? Yes you must recognize the power of your thoughts, but remember too that joy is your birth-right, and that sometimes living your best life is more about allowing than it is about hard work.
What do I mean when I speak of intention and attention? If you ask the average person for their definition of the word intention, their answer will usually involve the intention to do something. This is the norm in our culture, but I believe that a more powerful definition of intention refers to it as a state of being. Quite simply, intention as it relates to co-creation refers to who you are being on average in your daily life. Your being state dictates the power of your intention, and then your attention is what brings your ideas into concrete form.
In my work as a coach, I find that many people react to this news with a certain amount of bewilderment, if not outright dismay. If it is my state of being that does more than anything else to create my reality, they tell me, then what does that knowledge do for me? You see, we are not taught in this culture that we indeed have the power to alter who we are being, but I assure you that this is in fact the truth.
When you find yourself stuck in life, it is often because you hold limiting beliefs that keep you from seeing possibilities that may be right in front of you. You are constantly creating the circumstances in your world by virtue of the beliefs that you hold to be true, whether for good or ill. Most people are creating their lives from beliefs that live deep within their unconscious mind, unaware of the ways in which they hold themselves as victims of their situations and circumstances. This is why it is vitally important to address the subconscious when you are really seeking transformation, and there are a number of tools and techniques that can facilitate that.
Successful people know that energy goes where attention is, and they create their reality from what they put their attention on, both within and without. Your life will always express what is going on deep inside you, so ask yourself this:
Do realise that you are part of God’s creation, which is perfect, and that you are therefore also perfect? Over and over again, I have seen that a lack of self-regard – indeed of love for self – is what most holds us back from living a life of purpose. Remember that Divinity is within you, and that just as God’s creation unfolds, so what is right for you can unfold with equal ease. Know that absolutely no power on Earth can stop what is meant for you from coming your way, if you will just allow it.
So how do you allow it? The answer is as simple as it is difficult to do sometimes: love yourself. You must be the love that you are in order to align with your soul’s purpose, and you can’t do that if you are criticizing yourself all the time. Here are some practices to help you cultivate greater self-love:
- Pay attention to the way you talk to yourself in your own head. Each time you say something to yourself, ask yourself “would I ever say this to someone I loved, or even to a perfect stranger?” If not, you certainly don’t want to be saying it to yourself!
- If you can, take a moment right then to write the thought down on paper, then burn it or tear it up. This will help release the pattern of self-destructive and over-critical thinking. If you are not able to do that for any reason, simply imagine stamping the thought with the word CANCEL in big red letters. Writing is always more powerful, but this will do in a pinch.
- Write a list every day of what you are grateful for, ending with at least three lines of what you are grateful for about yourself. It can be your good health, your kind heart, the talent you have for music – anything at all. It helps to start your list with things that you find easy to be grateful for, as this will raise your vibration enough to allow you to access those things you are grateful for about yourself. Persist with this practice, and it will change your life!
Read more in Dr Neslyn’s New Book – Joyful Living: The Guide To Your Purpose and Passion.
To be launched at Radio Works World Author’s Awards 28 March 2017.
Book Now: Click Here
Everything You Most Want Is Inside You
“True Power is within, and it is available now.” – Eckhart Tolle in Practicing the Power of Now
When you are truly purposeful about something, there is nothing that can keep it from you, for you are allowing Divine will to be done through you. When your heart’s deepest desire is aligned with your vision and purpose, the things you desire will be drawn naturally and easily to you. This is the power of living your passion.
I wish to emphasise that everything you could ever want or need exists already within you. How is this possible, you ask? It is not only possible, but inevitable, because in truth it is never a concrete outcome that we desire; it is the feeling that we believe that outcome will bring us that we truly want. Standing in your power is about being on purpose, being aligned with the highest part of yourself, and knowing both your humanity and your Divinity as a result.
Your life purpose is an expression of your soul’s reason for incarnating on this planet at this time – in a sense, it is an intention statement for your whole life. It thus applies to every aspect of your life, not only your work, and it is the compass that allows you to discern how to best use your limited time on this planet.
I firmly believe that the greatest contribution each of us can make in our life and work is to live in accordance with our purpose. When we do, we not only find great fulfilment for ourselves, but we become a beacon for others. The tragedy is that most people never take the time to reflect on their purpose: indeed, less that 1% of people can articulate why they are here.
In the same way that you may have taken on the judgements of others in the form of limiting beliefs, you may have also chosen to believe that it’s not important to know your purpose, if you even have one. This is just another aspect of the back-to-front thinking that forms the dominant worldview on the planet today. From an early age, society and the media condition you to believe that happiness lies in the acquisition of things, when in fact the things we most desire – love, fulfilment, a sense of belonging – can only be found within.
So the question is, how long are you going to wait? Will you begin the work necessary to learn and live your purpose today, or will you continue to accept a life of mediocrity? While your purpose is always there for you to discover, I contend that you must not wait for it to reveal itself. You must hold a strong intention to uncover the treasure within, for you never know, it just might save your life!
Be Seen, Be Heard, Be Present – Delivering Yourself, Your Purpose and Your Passion when You spend time with Dr Neslyn. Be Inspired Call Neslyn Now +447768 000 321 and develop yourself even more with Neslyn’s Steer.